


A thousand years

by Silverhairedgirl



Series: Orgy 13 [4]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Minor Violence, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 07:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29995812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silverhairedgirl/pseuds/Silverhairedgirl
Summary: Vanitas is that one guy in class no one dares to get too close to and maybe it's better that way. You have your own friends after all, so why should you bother talking to him?
Relationships: Aqua/Terra (Kingdom Hearts), Axel (Kingdom Hearts) & Reader, Vanitas (Kingdom Hearts)/Reader
Series: Orgy 13 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160444
Kudos: 1





	A thousand years

**Author's Note:**

> I only wanted to write a sfw dancing scene. Now it's 1% dancing and 120% suffering. You get hurt, Vanitas gets hurt, Axel gets hurt. Poor redhead suffers friendzone in every fic and I'm deeply sorry for it.  
> This is also very sappy and cliché, but maybe I only think that in comparison to my other, more hardcore works.

You fiddled with your phone to get yourself busy, to just not as much as _look_ in his direction. Too late.

"What are you staring at, idiot?"

All the time you went to this college with him he never changed his behavior. Not to you, not to anyone else. And all this time he successfully avoided most of the people who were about to even dare ask him something. Of course, there was this one blonde boy who still pushes his luck with him. You had to tend to Ventus' bruises more than just a few times. 

He always dresses in black, sometimes with pieces of red. And he always wore that scowl on his face, somehow fitting his clothes perfectly every time.

"Hey," he called out in annoyance and stood up, "you know I'm not hesitating to punch a girl." This got you out of your thoughts immediately.

"Oh, I don't think so," a confident voice spoke up, a slender, but tall frame blocking your vision from him, effectively shielding you.

"You want some of that yourself?"

Vanitas. A name fitting for someone seemingly devoid of any feeling of empathy. Not once did you see him smiling, well, not like you would like him to. It was always this sardonic grin gracing his lips, with teeth as sharp as the words he used.

"Come Axel, let's go take a break," you stood up yourself and grabbed his arm. Axel was always there for you, helping you understand lessons at afternoons you spent together, sharing his ice-cream with you before falling asleep with his head on your lap at a late movie at your place.

Axel narrowed his eyes and begrudgingly followed you out of the classroom. Before you went out of the door, you took a look back at Vanitas. He lifted his hand, showing you his middle finger before crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"You really don't have it easy with that freak sitting next to you all the time," your best friend Aqua spoke in sympathy, offering you a kind smile.

It wasn't that. Yes, at first his cruel words and a few shoves in your direction hit you harder than you'd liked to admit. And his attitude with you only worsened with every passing day you saw him left alone in the classroom, his head resting on his arms on the desk in front of him while he completely shut off the world around him.

And with that one day you were out of class late. He was still sitting on the stairs just out of the building, leaned against a wall and a look so far into the distance he didn't hear you approach on your way to get past him. It was just a fleeting second you got as you looked at his face, golden eyes gloomy as they flicked up to you. You were seriously contemplating later on if it was just a trick of the light playing with you, but there were dark bags surrounding his eyes. Not the usual he had as he seemingly slept less than he should. The skin was red and swollen and barely there lines of _something_ directly under them on his cheeks. You knew that look, you had seen it often enough in your own reflection. They were eyes that held so much more behind them than they let on. Eyes, that couldn't bear the suffering anymore and spilled over. In your stupor you didn't notice you stopping in front of him. It didn't take him long to stand up and shove you out of his way. And just like that, he was walking away, the setting sun framing his dark form with red light.

You found yourself often thinking about him. Of course, you could never admit that in front of Axel or Aqua. You would never endure their worried gazes and you weren't in the mood to get a lecture to stay away from him. You knew that yourself. But... your heart clenched every time you had to, as if he still got you in his grasp even after evading his presence.

After that afternoon he missed the next three weeks of school. This wasn't unusual for him, but your gaze still swept every so often to his seat. It was way too bright without his dark form next to you.

"(Y/n), a word please," Professor Eraqus halted you after class. You stopped in your tracks and looked at him.

"These," he handed you a thin plastic folder with some papers in it, "are the contents of our last modules. And... an exam."

You looked in confusion to the folder first, then back to your professor. "I don't understand. I got everything I need."

"I know," Eraqus smiled as his hand laid on top of your shoulder, "these aren't yours. But you would do me a great favor if you could get them to Vanitas. He lives not far from you. I wrote down his address on the first page."

All color drained from your face as you listened to him. "Professor, I'm... not sure if—"

"Please." Eraqus looked you in the eyes, a pleading expression behind them. You returned his gaze for a silent moment before looking at the folder again.

"Okay."

*******

On your way to your home you opened the milky plastic cover as you walked. A blue sticky note was attached in the middle of the first page. It sure enough contained an address. The page was the exam Eraqus mentioned. Vanitas' name was scribbled in his handwriting, nothing else. He didn't even bother answering the questions, a red "0%" marked the top right corner. An anxious sigh left your lips as you took the note and closed the folder.

*******

As you arrived at your destination you stepped to the door and pressed the button for the bell.

Nothing happened.

A glance to the nameplate. " _Xehanort_ ". Was this his surname? You lifted your hand to the bell again before the door was hastily opened. Vanitas' movement froze the instant he recognized you, his face darkening considerably. Your heart hammered in your chest as you blinked and forced yourself to speak up. 

"Professor Eraqus asked me to give you this," your weak voice managed as you held out the folder and studied his face. His lips were trembling slightly. There was a fierce bruise across one of his cheeks and you almost winced thinking about the pain it surely must have caused.

Vanitas snatched the folder from your hand and stepped back to shut the door again. Before it was fully closed he stopped a moment to look at you. Your gaze held so many unspoken questions.

A small laugh echoed to you, hitting you hard. "Tch. I don't need your pity."

The door closed.

*******

After a few days passed you were surprised when Vanitas entered the classroom 30 minutes into the lecture. He wordlessly slumped in his seat next to you and didn't so much as spare you a glance. It was only getting harder for you to not look at him since then. 

*******

"This is so exciting! I can't believe we're about to graduate!" Aqua's hands clapped together in front of her. "Please tell me you will attend the ball. It will get so boring without you."

"Really? Won't Terra keep you enough company?," you teased with a smirk. She was quick to stop you from talking.

"You know who you'll be dancing with?" Her grin was knowing as her eyebrows lifted. Your smile dropped slowly as you looked away. "Well, I know it. Axel surely already thinks about asking you out!"

As your gaze wandered, your eyes met Vanitas'. He was close enough to not miss your exchange. Not a second after you looked at him he rolled his eyes and looked away again.

"So, will you say yes?"

"Who will say yes?," a second, but almost as cheerful voice said, messy red hair bringing a genuine smile to your lips again as Axel came closer.

"You will say yes to treating me some food," you joked as you lightly punched your best friend at his arm.

"Hah? No way I ever agreed to this!"

Vanitas' fingernails digged deeper into the flesh of his closed fist the longer he followed the conversation. He looked out of the window from his seat. The day of their graduation drew closer and he dreaded it. It was hard to endure all of his classmates everyday, with their pathetic friendships and foolish plans for their future. But everything was better than being in company of— 

He grimaced thinking about him, before his eyes fell onto the redhead again. How could anyone be that fucking happy? There was nothing to be happy about. Then his gaze flicked to you again and his grimace deepened. Your personality, your appearance, your voice — everything about you infuriated him to no end. 

Not in the way Axel did. He wasn't sure what he felt so deeply, but it was disgusting. His fist unclenched in his lap and he looked down. There was a blue sticky note in it. The less interesting side had his address written on it. Neat handwriting, but not yours. The other had another address, not too far away from him and he recognized your font. He searched for it online and found your name. Why would you ever want to do this, him finding out where you lived? 

He thought about the look you gave him when you visited him. Well, maybe _visited_ was the wrong term for it. He meant what he said. He didn't need anyone's pity. It would made him look weak and he was many things; weak wasn't one of them. No, he was used to the old man's treatment. They weren't related by blood, but he was the closest thing of a family he had, the way he took him to his home years ago. He made him work for him and at first he wouldn't be able to sleep at night with the things he did for him, the suffering he caused with the blood sticking on his hands. There were nightmares closing in and he _felt_ them. They were real, so fucking real. But the more often he did the things he demanded of him, the less he seemed to care about all those people. He was getting stronger and that was everything he ever needed. Not some fucking ball. His blood was boiling the way Axel slung his arm around your waist. Every day you were near him, _why_ did you always have to be at his side?! His knuckles cracked underneath the table. He had to get out of here before he couldn't control himself anymore. 

The breeze you felt as Vanitas rushed to the exit made you tense up and suddenly you shivered even through the heat of the summer. _What was that?_

"Hey, (Y/n), I wanted to ask you if you would like to go to the ball? Together with me?" 

Your gaze stayed glued to the exit even after Vanitas left. You didn't even hear what Axel was asking you. 

"Sure," you absentmintely said before you freed yourself from his half-embrace and followed Vanitas down the stairs. 

*******

Your hands began to tremble as you hurried out of the building in search for him. As you came around a corner you saw him standing in the shadows with his back to you. There was something wrong and if Eraqus thought you were the one to trust with his address, maybe...

"Vanitas," you softly spoke up.

"Why" It was the most silent you ever heard him and you strained yourself to even hear it as you slowly approached.

"W-what?"

"Why," it was much louder this time as Vanitas whirled around and roughly pushed you against the wall, knocking the breath out of you as your back met the hard stone, "Why the fuck did you follow me?"

He was really close now as he stood in front of you, but you could only focus on his fist lifted to the height of his head and aimed in your direction.

Between the pain and fear you struggled to get words out and your legs began to shake as you braced yourself for the punch. _Please_ , you thought, _you didn't deserve this_.

And then his fist made the impact and you shut your eyes closed as you winced. But no pain came. Tentatively you dared opening them again as you watched beside your head. His fist made contact with the stone where blood was gathering at the places his skin broke. His dark gaze was directed at you, the hate almost flowing out of his body and you wondered how someone could carry that much rage with them.

"Why do you pretend to care," he said, sounding defeated all of a sudden before he let go of you and stepped back to walk away.

"Vanitas!" Your hand grabbed his arm faster than you could think about the action. "I really do care about you. Listen, we've been in the same class for the last three years and I've seen that look in your eyes. And I know it, I— I feel the same sometimes," your voice dropped in volume, "I don't want to see you alone. I want to see a smile on your face that reaches your eyes." You had so much more to say, but your hands were shaking already and your throat was getting so dry you didn't trust your voice anymore.

Finally, Vanitas turned halfway to you again, his eyes halfway opened with a look that was too tired by the things he witnessed.

"Are you done?"

Your lips closed as you looked back at him. You were sure he would call the sight in front of him pathetic. And maybe you were. Maybe everyone who was bothered with their fist covered in blood was. Your eyes dropped to your hand which let go of his arm.

He didn't say anything else before he walked away. Maybe you were the one getting alone these days.

*******

"I don't know, (Y/n)."

Aqua was standing in her room in front of a mirror, a beautiful blue and backless dress on her body. "Are you sure this looks good on me?"

You laid on your stomach on her bed, propped up on your elbows and idly scrolling through your social media. Sora was posting way too much selfies with even more hashtags.

"Uhum." You meant it, she was looking pretty. But somehow you weren't enough in the moment to think about the ball. Aqua turned around and watched you.

"Hey, what's up?"

There was it. The worried tone you were dreading. You shook your head. She took the phone from your hands and the scrolling stopped at a photo of Axel, smirking at the camera with a peace sign and winking. It was a charming picture. He really hadn't difficulties with girls falling for him. Aqua liked the picture for you and you rolled your eyes.

"Come on, this will be great!"

She threw the phone on the bed next to you and took your hands in hers as she smiled at you.

"You know," she started as she kneeled down in front of the bed to look at your face, "I'm really going to miss you. If I weren't going with Terra and you weren't into that red dork, I may have asked you out!" 

You blinked in confusion, a slight blush forming on your cheeks. "U-uhm, Aqua, I—" You stared at your hands. What was wrong with you? You were having such good friends and you were worrying about someone who really couldn't care less about you. 

She laughed as she let go of your hands and stood up again. "I get it, you're taken. So, this dress?" 

You smiled as you looked up at her and nodded. Maybe she was right and your heart really was taken. 

*******

You arrived at the evening of the ball. The hall and outside of it was decorated in lights, hanging lanterns and plants. It didn't take long for Aqua to spot you, pulling Terra with her to you before hugging you.

"(Y/n), you came! I'm so happy!"

"And you both look gorgeous," Terra added with a smile. You couldn't help but smile back at both.

"Where did you left your date?," Aqua asked after a few moments and looked around. You pressed your lips together. Axel. It broke your heart that you didn't think about him much the last weeks. He really meant a lot to you.

"Hey, there he is," Terra lifted his head as he met Axel's gaze. You turned to him and your lips parted as you took him in. You didn't know what you expected after seeing him in his casual clothes every day, but he took your breath away. He grinned at you and walked over before laying his arm around your waist and pressing a light kiss to the top of your head.

"What's up?"

You looked up at his face as he got lost in the conversation. He was perfect. And still you found yourself scanning the hall, not seeing the familiar face you were seeking. Your stomach dropped and you knew you had to do something.

An hour later you found yourself standing on the balcony under the night sky. Axel came back to you, the promised drinks in his hands as he handed you one. He leaned his back against the balustrade, propping his elbows on his side on top of it. 

"I knew I haven't said it before, but you're looking absolutely stunning. Not just tonight."

Your eyes flicked to his green eyes. They were almost glowing the way he watched you. For a moment a yellow flickering light colored his eyes golden and you shuddered before looking away.

"Thank you. You too, of course."

" **I—** ," you both started after a moment.

"You first," you said with a laugh.

"Can I have this dance with you?" He extended his hand and you pressed your lips together. After he got no response, he said your name in question.

"I'm sorry," you hurriedly said, placing your glass down, "I have to go."

You didn't dare look back to see the hurt in his eyes.

*******

You wandered the streets back to your home, alone and in your dress for the evening, but feet bare to the alphalt still warm from the sun. These shoes weren't made for wearing them more than a few hours. And you didn't recognized walking down Vanitas' street before you saw his house not too far away from you.

As you came closer, you saw a figure sitting on the roof next to a window. You stopped in the light of a street lamp and looked up. Strands of black hair followed his head as he turned to look down at you. This was it. This was what you wanted all along and you knew it. You pushed your fears aside as you walked closer. From here you could clearly see his eyes on you. He didn't make a move to go away or speak up.

Somehow you forgot all the things he said to you, how he treated you to push you away from him. You started climbing up the boxes next to the wall in your dress, not at all made for something like this. Your shoes dropped to the grassy ground as it got caught between a sharp piece of wood and tore at one side.

"Fuck," you muttered, but kept climbing the rest until you made a wimpy attempt to pull yourself on the roof. You could feel Vanitas' eyes on you and how he didn't even get up to help you. You managed however, standing a few feet away from him now and staring back at him, a slightly amused expression and lifted eyebrow on his face. You walked over and sat down right next to him. Not too close, but as close as you sat in class. You pulled your legs to your chest and hugged them as you two sat in silence for a few minutes.

"You didn't came to the—"

"You're the biggest dumbass I've ever seen."

" _What_?!" Your head snapped to him again in confusion. He didn't look at you.

"I tried everything to get you to fuck off. To shut up your pathetic words and attempts to try and _rescue_ me," he spat the word out in disgust and was silent for a moment. Your eyebrows furrowed in sadness as you waited for him to continue. "And now you're sitting here instead of going to that fucking party or whatever."

A snicker left his mouth as he finally lifted his head from his elbows to look at you. "Do you realize what a miserable sight you are?" His lips were pulled back into a malicious grin, but it was more clenched teeth than a real grin. You averted your gaze in an attempt to hold your tears in. He was right. How could you be such an idiot? All your pain could have been avoided if you just hadn't been so persistent. And now you were sitting right beneath the rubble of your consequences.

"Vanitas, I—," you didn't even believe yourself you still tried at this point, but the words came out nonetheless, "I meant the things I said. I was alone many times. Before the years at the college I was a nervous little girl. I wouldn't dare ask a stranger if I got lost somewhere I didn't know. I got turned down and disappointed so often I stopped counting. Friends that meant so much to me just couldn't stand me anymore. My family's a fucking mess. Boys who I tried to love, they—," you glanced to his shoes as you stopped for a moment, "they pushed me away every time." You hadn't meant to say all these things to him. He couldn't care less and you knew it. A tear formed and made its way down your cheek. It wasn't silent very long before his snicker returned, growing in volume before it resembled a maniacal laugh. 

"You don't understand a fucking thing!" His voice was dripping venom and you saw his hands clenching to fists. "You don't know anything about me. There has to be so much more wrong with you than me, if you think you know what you're talking about." His hand unclenched and grabbed your neck roughly to turn your face towards him. His lips were trembling again before he pressed them together. "Your kindness is so disgusting. You... I hate you." 

The cold air of the evening hit you with its full force as a shiver let goosebumps appear on your bare arms. His biting words made your tears finally spill over and you had half a mind to thank whoever that after this evening you didn't need to see him again. The trembling of his lips transfered to the arm that was still holding your neck as his eyes stared you down. 

"I understand," was your meek and hoarse response. 

"What the fuck do you understand about it?! What do you know!!" His lips opened again to reveal his clenched teeth, not a trace of a smile behind them now. His eyes were shimmering stronger and you recognized the same gaze behind them as that one afternoon. The hand around your neck didn't relent its grip, but his next words were said in a low tone you never heard before from him. 

"You'd grow tired of me because I'd let you down like I did to everyone else. I'm not half of that person you think I am. And I—," his voice stuttered for the first time as his eyes looked at his hand on you, "I hate you for making me so weak." He suddenly let go and just as swiftly turned his head away from you. His hair covered half of his face so you didn't see it, but you _felt_ the agony pouring out of him and almost manifesting around you.

You hesitated for a moment before you scooted closer to him, your legs barely touching as your trembling hand met his cheek and softly pushed his head to face you again. Under your hand you felt his resistance for a moment before he gave in and looked at you. In that moment you denied everything he told you just now, as you didn't saw his weakness but someone who was able to face his feelings, despite how much they hurt him.

"You're right," you whispered and his lips turned down again, "I don't know anything about you," your head slowly closed the distance between you until your noses almost brushed. His eyes were full of distrust at your sudden closeness and you made sure to make every move very slowly. The thumb of your hand holding his cheek brushed a tear away as your voice went even quieter. "But I'd like to."

Your lips ghosted over his before you softly met them for a second before pulling away enough to look him in the eyes again. His gaze was asking, searching for something, anything in your face telling him that you were playing with him. His lips were moving, but it was too quiet for you to make out.

"Do..." Your head tilted slightly as you waited was he was about to say, "...that again."

Your lips pressed together in attempt to hide the smile, but ultimately failing. You closed the distance again and kissed him as you closed your eyes. His lips were rough but slowly tilting upwards in a smile as he kissed you back while his hand found your cheek on the opposite side you where holding him. A tear was running between your faces and you weren't sure if it was yours or his. You placed your forehead against his after your lips parted again. You had seen these eyes in so many emotions over the years, the look he was giving you now never one of them. And you never thought you would see these eyes of all being the ones showing you the insecurities behind the person. 

"How can I return to you something I don't know how to give?," he softly said.

"We'll figure it out along the way," your voice finally regained its strength, though your tears never stopped running down your face. Vanitas slowly pulled away, his hand grazing along the part of your leg where the wood teared your skin from your climb. The wound stopped bleeding and the blood was beginning to dry. 

"You really are an idiot," his golden eyes flicked to yours again and you saw the smile on his lips you just felt seconds ago. 

"Maybe," you tilted your head and stood up. "Come on."

As you walked along the roof to where you climbed it up, you let yourself fall on the topmost box and made your way on solid ground again. Vanitas looked at you questionly the whole time before following you down. His taller form was standing in front of you and his eyebrows raised.

"What now?"

"You know," you started as you entangled one hand with his, the other placed on his shoulder, "I never had a dance tonight."

He blinked in shock as his other hand hesitantly met your hip. "(Y/n), I never—"

"Me too," you answered as you came the last inches closer to him, your body leaning against his as your head rested against his shoulder and you slowly began moving him along with you. The moon was illuminating your bodies as you swayed to unhearable music, but hearing his heart was enough of a beat for you.

"I don't know what you think is so special about me," he started as he followed your moves, "I won't be good enough for you."

"Maybe you won't. But I know you will at least try. And I won't stop fighting for you. I'm here for you, whatever you decide for."


End file.
